By E William Gravlin
Buy new: $14.95
First tagged by Outskirts
Customer tags: politics, political parties, political science, humor, liberalism, e william gravlin, political process, conservative, liberal, political humor
Review & Description
A liberal is someone who... A conservative is someone who... takes a humorous, satirical look at both political parties and their clashing political philosophies. It pokes fun at political issues like taxing the rich, spreading the wealth, social welfare programs, illegal immigration, criminal justice, political correctness, the press, radio talk show hosts, gun control, legalizing drugs, gays, and health care. It consists of 197 quips illustrated by the following:
A limousine liberal is someone who often tries to boost his public image by saying that he would have no objection to the government raising his taxes. Then he watches nervously to make sure that conservatives never let that happen.
A lot of conservatives think that a handgun in the home is like an insurance policy. You probably will never use it but the knowledge that you are not completely vulnerable to danger gives you some peace of mind. Many liberals look at a handgun in the home as an enemy that is beyond their ability to control. They prefer more conventional weapons like rolling pins, heavy frying pans and mops.
A liberal is someone who thinks that burning the American flag is a constitutionally protected form of free speech which is OK as long as nobody says anything that is politically incorrect when they're doing it.
If conservatives are traditionalists, liberals are faddists. Pick any fad. Liberals are embracing it, eating it, smoking it, singing it, drinking it. Conservatives on the other hand, seem content embracing more traditional things like table salt.
Brain scans use different colors to represent the level of brain activity. When liberals talk about political issues, their brain scans show a shade of blue people exhibit when they're not getting enough oxygen. When talking about the Nanny State, the whole brain turns a newly discovered color called "pinkoh." When conservatives talk about political issues, their brain scans show a rich mixture of reds, whites and blues.
A politician is someone who says at the beginning of the week that hunger is a national problem and by the end of the week, he's changed his mind. Obesity is the problem. Whatever it is, you can bet he's on top of it.
Dictators control the press in their countries and force the press on penalty of death to whitewash their governments. In the U.S. when liberals are in power, the press does this voluntarily and for free!
A conservative is someone who knows how the federal government works. For example, one government bureaucracy will fulfill its mission by putting a rare breed of dogs domesticated by Indians in the Southwest on the Endangered Species list. Then another government bureaucracy with a different mission will go out and spay and neuter all the dogs. Read more
No comments:
Post a Comment